Fighting for Breath

I Have Brittle Asthma. Everyday can be a battle to breath and survive. This is a space to share, rant and come to terms with my everyday challenges and thoughts.

The Extra Burdens Faced by Young People with Chronic Illness

From years of writing about chronic painand illness, I’ve learned that young people carry several extra burdens, especially when their disability is invisible (as is more often the case than not). This piece focuses on young people, although some of its points apply to people of any age, depending on their circumstances.

1. Young people are treated as if theirhealth issues can’t possibly be chronic.

I hear from young people almost every day who’ve read my books or articles and write to me about their day-to-day challenges. For many of them, at the top of the list of those challenges is the fact that other people simply don’t believe that a young person could possibly suffer from a condition that might be chronic.

When young people are treated as if their condition can’t possibly be chronic, not only do they feel disregarded, but they may begin to question their own perceptions and judgment: “Is my body really this sick and in pain? Everyone says it can’t possibly be the case, so maybe it’s all in my head.” This questioning can lead to self-recrimination and can seriously erode a young person’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

This ignorance about young people with chronic illness has other consequences. Several young people have told me that they’ve been openly challenged when they park in a disabled spot, even though they have the required placard or sticker. A young woman with multiple sclerosis told me that someone spit on her when she didn’t give up her seat to an older person on the subway.

I feel frustrated and sad when young people tell me that they’ve been challenged by others in this way. No one is too young to suffer from an invisible disability, and everyoneshould give others the benefit of the doubt.

2. Young people are repeatedly told: “You’re too young to be in pain.”

Pixabay
Source: Pixabay

Countless young people have written to me, saying that thiis is one of the most frustrating and hurtful comments they have to listen to. No matter what their diagnosis, they’re continually told that they can’t possibly be in chronic pain at their age. Imagine how hard it must be to respond skillfully to a comment like that.

A 2013 study by the National Research Council and Institute of Medicine (NAC/IOM) showed, not just that Americans are getting sicker, but that young Americans are getting sicker. We need to raise awareness about the fact that chronic pain and chronic illness can strike anyone at any age.

I have a few comments on these first two burdens—comments that I’d like to address directly to young people.

First, regarding strangers who are rude, in my view, the best response is to immediately take care of yourself by not allowing their insensitivity to make you question yourself. The problem lies with their ignorance about chronic illness; it does not lie with you. Try to separate the person’s response to you from your response to yourself. In other words, you know you’re sick, and that should be good enough for you. It takes practice, but it’s worth the effort.

As for family and friends who say your condition can’t possibly be chronic or that you’re too young to be in pain, of course, you should try to educate them. But, in the end, not all of them may be receptive. Many of my friends dropped away when I became chronically ill. I’ve learned to treasure the few who’ve stayed with me and the few who’ve newly entered my life because I know they don’t question the chronic nature of my symptoms. I’ve worked on letting the others go. I feel better when I’m able to be okay with people sometimes disappointing me and to be willing to be content with those who accept me as I am.

3. Young people worry that they’ll never find a romantic partner.

Living day-to-day with an unpredictable medical condition makes it hard to sustain regular friendships no matter how old you are. It’s even harder to find romance. This is an ongoing worry for young people who are chronically ill. Many relationships don’t get past the first date. A young woman with Lupus recently wrote to me about a dinner date she’d had. The evening was going well, but when the guy found out that she wouldn’t be able to go to a concert on the weekend because she was scheduled to get chemotherapy, he lost interest in her all together.

When I got sick, I was fortunate to have a committed partner who took that “in sickness and in health” vow seriously. It’s a sobering thought to reflect on how unlikely it would be for me to find romance were I young. That said, it can happen if an understanding and patient person enters the life of a young person who is chronically ill. It helps to think of creative ways to meet people. One woman told me that she met her fiancé online through a dating site (be sure it’s a legitimate one). She said that the two of them had become so close via their back and forth emails that, when they finally met in person, it mattered not a bit to him that she was disabled.

4. Young people often can’t complete their education.

College is usually a ticket to brighter employment prospects. But when chronic illness strikes, young people are often forced to drop out of school.

When I served as the dean of students at the law school at U.C. Davis, I tried to help a young man who’d been sick with what the doctors initially thought was an acute viral infection. When, after six months, he still hadn’t recovered, he was given the diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. He was a dedicated student and was determined to get his law degree. When he and I realized that he could no longer keep up in his classes, I put him on a four-year program, which extended his studies by a year so that he could take a lighter class load. We thought that would do the trick.

But soon, he lost his ability to take care of his daily needs. Some days he couldn’t get out of bed at all. This meant that he not only had to miss classes, but he couldn’t get to the grocery store to buy food. It became increasingly clear that he could no longer live independently. And so, after completing 3/4 of the units toward his law degree, he had no choice but to withdraw from school and move back in with his parents who lived in another state.

I felt so bad for him. Little did I know that eight years later, I’d be given the same diagnosis and be forced, in effect, to withdraw from the very same school.

Young people with chronic illness often have to think outside the box when it comes to their education. This can be very difficult to do when a person is already struggling day-to-day with not feeling well. Hopefully, a dean of students or the Disability Services Office on campus can help with brainstorming and with creative solutions, such as moving to an extended program or taking some classes online.

5. Young people must sit by and watch others their age participate in activities that are out of reach for them.

A few months ago, I read an article in The Atlantic that was written by the wife of a 33 year-old-man who’d been diagnosed with the autoimmune disease, Ankylosing Spondylitis. (The link is here(link is external).) In the article, she quoted her husband describing how difficult and polarizing it was to be with people who weren’t sick:

It’s, like, I’m still only 33. I probably am still considered in a lot of people’s eyes [to be] youthful enough that I shouldn’t have to deal with thinking about this kind of stuff. I feel like my parents were still partying and drinking beers [at 33]. This is the age my Dad was when they had me. I don’t think [he] was worrying about what [expletive deleted] pills he was going to take or not take, you know what I mean? They were like “We’re out of Budweiser.”

Many young people tell me about their once-active lifestyles as hikers or marathon runners or social activists or yoga instructors. They’re frustrated, and sometimes they’re very angry. Always…they’re sad. Worst of all, they tend to blame themselves for their inability to be active. I tell them over and over: “It’s not your fault.” I also encourage them to focus on what they can do and to look for others (online or in-person) who have similar interests. It takes effort, but it’s well-worth it.

6. Young people may be stigmatized by others.

When I was in grade school, all I wanted was to fit in or, at least, not be noticed. There was a boy named Alan in my 6th grade class who suffered from asthma so severe that he missed weeks of school at a time. When he did show up, everyone knew “this is the kid who’s always sick,” and we treated him differently because of it. There was certainly no fitting in, no anonymity for Alan. He was stigmatized.

I realize now how terribly hard this must have been for him. He had to deal both with his illness and with his peers treating him as different. I hope he’s had a good life, filled withlove and understanding from family and friends. I wish I’d been compassionate enough to have been one of those friends.

7. Young people are burdened with worries about the future.

Of course, people of all ages and health statuses occasionally worry about the future. But young people who are chronically ill have years of health-related worries ahead of them—worries that are likely to include: What will happen to my health in the years to come? Will my condition gradually worsen? Will I become more and more restricted in my activities? Will I be able to support myself? Will I be able to live independently or will I become increasingly dependent on my family?

I encourage young people to talk to friends and family—even doctors—about these issues. The more information they can gather and the more support they have, the better equipped they’ll be to plan for the future

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-straw-gold/201403/the-extra-burdens-faced-young-people-chronic-illness

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20 Signs You Really Hate People

1. The idea of getting your ass out of bed, dressing up and stepping out of your front door is just

Michael scott no

2. When you take public transport, you can’t help but think:

theres-too-many-people-on-this-earth-we-need-a-plague

3. You’re on your way to meet a friend and then you get a text from her saying she’s brought a tag-along.

This is your reaction:

dont need another friend

4. You find yourself praying that plans get cancelled all the time.

cancelling plans

5. When you get invited to a house party, you pray to God they’ve got a pet so you can act busy and not interact with actual human beings.

cat lady party cartoon

6. When people tap you on the shoulder, or try to do that cheek-kissy thing that white people love, or touch you in any way:

 

you-dont-know-me-like-that

7. When someone whips out a camera and everyone squeals in delight, you’re just like:

Robert Downey Jr Pained Photo Taking

8. You loovvvveee the internet. And the invention of mobile phones. And anything that keeps you an active member of society without actually having to be in physical contact with anyone.

all hail internet

9. But sometimes Facebook, or any other form of social media for that matter, really pisses you off.

fuck facebook south park

10. In fact, this is you when scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed:

Grinch Hate Hate

11. And your face when you see couples posting mushy crap on each other’s timelines:

Epic eye roll

12. You’re cool with small group outings or one-on-ones, but when your friends drag you out of your house for a party, you’re just like:

Kurt Glee Raging Silence

13. And when people go up to you and ask: “Why so glum, chum?” Or anything to that effect, you fight the urge to tell them:

Aubrey Plaza hate talking

14. AND CLUBBING. OH GOD CLUBBING IS BASICALLY TORTURE

Clubbing snooki

15. And when you see people in large groups at the mall or at the park being all loud and annoying, you mentally transform into a cranky eighty-year-old lady

stop behavin so stupid

16. Even when you go for networking sessions, all that goes through your mind is:

tina fey amy poehler hate everyone

17. You have more missed calls than answered calls in your phone list. And when people ask why you missed their call you’re just like

missed your call basement of brain

18. But seriously, why do people keep insisting on calling? I mean, have they not heard of text?
jesse pinkman seriously

 

19. When an extrovert talks about how much they hate people. You’re just:

margaery tyrell game of thrones pity“Bitch, please.”

20. And when people tell you how you should “get out more”, in your mind you’re just:

Liz-Lemon-Eye-Roll

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Food Frauds that can Wreck your Diet

Caesar salad – Just a small bowl can serve up 300-400 calories and 30 grams of fat, thanks to loads of dressing. Food fix: Leave out the croutons; limit dressing to one tablespoon; and enjoy two tablespoons of tangy Parmesan cheese.

Fresh smoothies- That ‘healthy’ berry blend at a smoothie bar or café is likely to have a whopping 80 grams of sugar, 350 calories, no protein and often no fresh fruit. Vitamin-poor fruit “concentrates” are commonly used instead of more expensive fresh fruit. And sorbet, ice cream and sweeteners can make these no better than a milkshake. Food fix: Get the ‘small’ cup. Ask for fresh fruit, low-fat yoghurt, milk or protein powder to blend in good nutrition.

Energy bars- Many of these are simply enhanced sweets with more calories (up to 500) and a higher price tag. Their compact size also leaves many people unsatisfied. “Three bites and it’s gone”, says Bonci, who advises hungry athletes and dancers. Food fix: Choose bars that have 200 calories or less, at least five grams of fibre and some protein, which helps provide energy when the sugar rush fades.

Enhanced water- Vitamins are commonly added to bottled water and advertised on the front label. Some brands also add sugar, taking water from zero calories to as much as 125. Food fix: Keeping tap water in the fridge may make it more appealing to the family. As an alternative, try adding a low calorie squash or cordial to add flavour without calories.

Breakfast muffins- Muffins masquerade as a healthy choice for breakfast. Although they may beat doughnuts, they’re still mainly sugary little cakes of refined flour. One shop bought muffin can hit 500 calories with 11 teaspoons of sugar.Food fix: Choose muffins no larger than 6cm (2½ inches) in diameter, or look for low calorie muffins. Smaller portions limit calories and some brands are a surprisingly good source of whole grains and fibre.

Coleslaw- Cabbage can be great for weight loss, but coleslaw can be a diet disaster. A restaurant 130g serving can have 260 calories and 21 grams of fat – a third of most people’s daily limit – thanks to copious mayonnaise.Food fix: Some places offer a healthier coleslaw, so ask for nutrition information. At home, try low-fat mayonnaise or mix with fat free yoghurt.

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A Letter to Patients With Chronic Disease

Dear Patients:

You have it very hard, much harder than most people understand.  Having sat for 16 years listening to the stories, seeing the tiredness in your eyes, hearing you try to describe the indescribable, I have come to understand that I too can’t understand what your lives are like.  How do you answer the question, “how do you feel?” when you’ve forgotten what “normal” feels like?  How do you deal with all of the people who think you are exaggerating your pain, your emotions, your fatigue?  How do you decide when to believe them or when to trust your own body?  How do you cope with living a life that won’t let you forget about your frailty, your limits, your mortality?

I can’t imagine.

But I do bring something to the table that you may not know.  I do have information that you can’t really understand because of your unique perspective, your battered world.  There is something that you need to understand that, while it won’t undo your pain, make your fatigue go away, or lift your emotions, it will help you.  It’s information without which you bring yourself more pain than you need suffer; it’s a truth that is a key to getting the help you need much easier than you have in the past.  It may not seem important, but trust me, it is.

You scare doctors.

No, I am not talking about the fear of disease, pain, or death.  I am not talking about doctors being afraid of the limits of their knowledge.  I am talking about your understanding of a fact that everyone else seems to miss, a fact that many doctors hide from: we are normal, fallible people who happen to doctor for a job.  We are not special.  In fact, many of us are very insecure, wanting to feel the affirmation of people who get better, hearing the praise of those we help.  We want to cure disease, to save lives, to be the helping hand, the right person in the right place at the right time.

But chronic unsolvable disease stands square in our way.  You don’t get better, and it makes many of us frustrated, and it makes some of us mad at you.  We don’t want to face things we can’t fix because it shows our limits.  We want the miraculous, and you deny us that chance.

And since this is the perspective you have when you see doctors, your view of them is quite different.  You see us getting frustrated.  You see us when we feel like giving up.  When we take care of you, we have to leave behind the illusion of control, of power over disease.  We get angry, feel insecure, and want to move on to a patient who we can fix, save, or impress.  You are the rock that proves how easily the ship can be sunk.  So your view of doctors is quite different.

Then there is the fact that you also possess something that is usually our domain: knowledge.  You know more about your disease than many of us do – most of us do.  Your MS, rheumatoid arthritis, end-stage kidney disease, Cushing’s disease, bipolar disorder, chronic pain disorder, brittle diabetes, or disabling psychiatric disorder – your defining pain –  is something most of us don’t regularly encounter.  It’s something most of us try to avoid.  So you possess deep understanding of something that many doctors don’t possess.  Even doctors who specialize in your disorder don’t share the kind of knowledge you can only get through living with a disease.  It’s like a parent’s knowledge of their child versus that of a pediatrician.  They may have breadth of knowledge, but you have depth of knowledge that no doctor can possess.

So when you approach a doctor – especially one you’ve never met before – you come with a knowledge of your disease that they don’t have, and a knowledge of the doctor’s limitations that few other patients have.  You see why you scare doctors?  It’s not your fault that you do, but ignoring this fact will limit the help you can only get from them.  I know this because, just like you know your disease better than any doctor, I know what being a doctor feels like more than any patient could ever understand.  You encounter doctors intermittently (more than you wish, perhaps); I live as a doctor continuously.

So let me be so bold as to give you advice on dealing with doctors.  There are some things you can do to make things easier, and others that can sabotage any hope of a good relationship:

  1. Don’t come on too strong – yes, you have to advocate for yourself, but remember that doctors are used to being in control.  All of the other patients come into the room with immediate respect, but your understanding has torn down the doctor-god illusion.  That’s a good thing in the long-run, but few doctors want to be greeted with that reality from the start.  Your goal with any doctor is to build a partnership of trust that goes both ways, and coming on too strong at the start can hurt your chances of ever having that.
  2. Show respect – I say this one carefully, because there are certainly some doctors who don’t treat patients with respect – especially ones like you with chronic disease.  These doctors should be avoided.  But most of us are not like that; we really want to help people and try to treat them well.  But we have worked very hard to earn our position; it was not bestowed by fiat or family tree.  Just as you want to be listened to, so do we.
  3. Keep your eggs in only a few baskets – find a good primary care doctor and a couple of specialists you trust.  Don’t expect a new doctor to figure things out quickly.  It takes me years of repeated visits to really understand many of my chronic disease patients.  The best care happens when a doctor understands the patient and the patient understands the doctor.  This can only happen over time.  Heck, I struggle even seeing the chronically sick patients for other doctors in my practice.  There is something very powerful in having understanding built over time.
  4. Use the ER only when absolutely needed – Emergency room physicians will always struggle with you.  Just expect that.  Their job is to decide if you need to be hospitalized, if you need emergency treatment, or if you can go home.  They might not fix your pain, and certainly won’t try to fully understand you.  That’s not their job.  They went into their specialty to fix problems quickly and move on, not manage chronic disease.  The same goes for any doctor you see for a short time: they will try to get done with you as quickly as possible.
  5. Don’t avoid doctors – one of the most frustrating things for me is when a complicated patient comes in after a long absence with a huge list of problems they want me to address.  I can’t work that way, and I don’t think many doctors can.  Each visit should address only a few problems at a time, otherwise things get confused and more mistakes are made.  It’s OK to keep a list of your own problems so things don’t get left out – I actually like getting those lists, as long as people don’t expect me to handle all of the problems.  It helps me to prioritize with them.
  6. Don’t put up with the jerks – unless you have no choice (in the ER, for example), you should keep looking until you find the right doctor(s) for you.  Some docs are not cut out for chronic disease, while some of us like the long-term relationship.  Don’t feel you have to put up with docs who don’t listen or minimize your problems.  At the minimum, you should be able to find a doctor who doesn’t totally suck.
  7. Forgive us – Sometimes I forget about important things in my patients’ lives.  Sometimes I don’t know you’ve had surgery or that your sister comes to see me as well.  Sometimes I avoid people because I don’t want to admit my limitations.  Be patient with me – I usually know when I’ve messed up, and if you know me well I don’t mind being reminded.  Well, maybe I mind it a little.

You know better than anyone that we docs are just people – with all the stupidity, inconsistency, and fallibility that goes with that – who happen to doctor for a living.  I hope this helps, and I really hope you get the help you need.  It does suck that you have your problem; I just hope this perhaps decreases that suckishness a little bit.

Sincerely,

Dr. Rob

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10 things we didn’t know last week

Snippets from the week’s news, sliced, diced and processed for your convenience.

1. Two per cent of Europeans lack the genes for smelly armpits.

2. It is possible to beam an image (the Mona Lisa, in this case) to the Moon using a high-powered laser.

3. Russian soldiers don’t wear socks.

4. Horse-eating is called Hippophagy.

5. You can make beer out of Sugar Puffs.

6. Overbites didn’t become standard until everyone started eating with a knife and fork.

7. The East Midlands has a history of small to moderate earthquakes.

8. Swiss cheese plants suffer from stress.

9. Inflatable space capsules are as safe as metal ones.

10. Trees that are more than 100m tall cannot grow leaves.

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Q&A: The unappreciated benefits of dyslexia

Normally dyslexia is considered a handicap: a mental deficiency that makes reading, long-division and remembering whether letters and numbers face left or right difficult.
While dyslexic children may struggle in the early grades, they often grow into gifted story tellers, inventors and entrepreneurs. 
What is your working definition of dyslexia?
The generally accepted definition focuses on the difficulties with reading and spelling that are unexpected, given a child’s individual level of intelligence and their educational exposure. We think that definition is inadequate for practical use, because the actual symptoms vary a lot.
We’ll see dyslexic kids with a verbal IQ of 140 or 145 who will read with good comprehension, and as a consequence won’t be recognized as dyslexic. But they still read at fairly slow pace relative to other students in the gifted programs, and their performance will suffer from their slow reading speed. And for some dyslexic students, their problems with reading may be less than in other areas, like writing and rote or procedural mathematics, but they arise from the same wiring differences that underlie dyslexic reading and spelling challenges, and traditional definitions of dyslexia that focus entirely on word sound or language processing really don’t capture the breadth of these differences.
What are the major misconceptions surrounding the condition?
One of the biggest misconceptions is that dyslexic brains differ only in the ways they process printed symbols, when in reality they show an alternative pattern of processing that affects the way they process information across the board. Dyslexic brains are organized in a way that maximizes strength in making big picture connections at the expense of weaknesses in processing fine details.
It’s a huge mistake to regard a dyslexic child as if his or her brain is trying to follow the same pathway of development as all the other kids but is simply doing a bad job of it. In reality, the brains of kids with dyslexic processing styles are actually developing in a very different way. They establish a different pattern of connections and circuitry, creating a different kind of problem-solving apparatus. The difference is global, not just in certain areas of the brain.
So for many dyslexic students, normal development really consists of having a brain that’s wired so that reading is naturally more difficult to learn when they’re 7 or 8 years old than it is for other students. And this difference in development creates a real mismatch between what they need to learn and the way that traditional education is doled out in the early grades. There’s a real clash between what they can really do well at particular ages and what they’re being asked to do in the classroom, and this makes it very hard for them to thrive in the traditional classroom setting.
The other big misconception is that dyslexia is fundamentally a learning disorder which is accompanied only by problems, rather than a different pattern of processing that can bring tremendous strengths in addition to the well-known challenges.
What are the major strengths of having a dyslexic brain?                                                                           Some dyslexic individuals are especially good at spatial reasoning. Putting together three-dimensional spatial perspectives is easy for them. They may work in design, 3-D art, architecture, be engineers, builders, inventors, organic chemists or be exceptionally good at bagging your groceries.
Interconnected reasoning is another kind of strength. These connections can be relationships of likeness – analogies for example – or causal relationships, or the ability to shift perspective and view an object or event from multiple perspectives, or the ability to see the “gist” or big-picture context surrounding an event or idea. Many dyslexics work in highly interdisciplinary fields or fields that require combining perspectives and techniques gained from different disciplines or backgrounds. Or they’re multiple specialists, or their work history is unusually varied. Often these individuals draw the comment that they can see connections that other people haven’t seen before.
Most dyslexics tend to remember facts as experiences, examples or stories, rather than abstractions. We call this pattern narrative reasoning, which we consider the third strength. These kids have a very strong ability to learn from experience. It’s very common for their families to describe these kids as the family elephant. They’ll be the go-to person when someone wants to remember who gave what to sister for her birthday two years ago. They might be the family historian, but they can’t remember the times tables or which direction the three goes.
These individuals excel in fields where telling and understanding stories are important, like sales, counseling, trial law or even teaching. In addition, a large number of professional writers are dyslexic. 
The fourth ability outlined is the ability to reason well in dynamic settings when the facts are incomplete or changing. People strong in this area often work in the business field, in financial markets or in scientific fields that reconstruct past events, like geologists or paleontologists. These people are comfortable working with processes that are constantly changing, and in making predictions.
Do most dyslexic individuals demonstrate a particular strength, or do they show combinations?
Most dyslexics show combinations of these strengths. Probably 80 to 90 percent of the dyslexic individuals we’ve worked with show a narrative-type brain, and many of these individuals show strengths in dynamic reasoning. Interconnected reasoning is similarly common. Surprisingly, spatial reasoning, which is often viewed as the quintessential dyslexic skill, is a bit more hit or miss. In the book there is a great interview with Douglas Merrill, who was the Chief Information Officer at Google for several years and a tremendously impressive person. He said, “If I close my eyes right now I couldn’t tell you which direction my door is.” But he was very strong in all of the other mind strengths we describe.
What is an example of a perceived mental weakness that hides a mental strength?
Most of what is done in the classroom in the early grades focuses on acquiring the kind of rote skills that are dependent on perceiving visual or auditory things very clearly, and learning skills automatically to the point where you don’t have to think about them. These are just the kinds of rote and fine detail skills that dyslexic kids tend to have difficulty learning. But because that’s where the focus is in the early grades, their strengths in big-picture processing or remembering personal experiences tend to get overlooked.
But over time, what we see is that this same lack of ability to over-learn things so well that they no longer need to be thought of keeps dyslexic individuals more in touch with or mindful of the tasks they’re engaged in, and as a result makes them more likely to innovate and tweak and modify.
If I was the parent of a dyslexic child, what advice would you give to me?                                                      One of the most important things is to remember to focus on identifying and building strengths. Too often all the focus is on “fixing what’s wrong” rather than celebrating and nurturing what’s right, and that’s a big mistake. But when it does come to improving performance in areas of struggle, help should be tailored to the specific child.
Some children are not too bothered by the fact that they’re struggling more than their equally intelligent peers; they just love to be in school with their friends. Those kids will often be fine in a normal classroom, with additional outside help in the areas where they are struggling. But there are a lot of kids who are devastated by the experience of seeing other kids master things easily, being called out, laughed at or pressured by the teacher.
For those kids, when you see their self-image, their ability to sleep, their ability to function really deteriorating, that is a real tragedy. They need to be moved into a place where the education fits their developmental profile better. We mention various alternatives in the book. But it’s important to recognize that these kids can be destroyed by being kept in a difficult place for too long, without understanding why it is they are struggling.
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Lyrics from the Sis

My Sis is a massive MeatLoaf Fan and she sent me this lyrics.

There are a few lines she thought stand out, which I’ve put in bold :

She’ll be the first to say she was blind

To how much life can hurt sometimes

She learned the hard way that life ain’t fair

It’s times like these you gasp for air

She looks at pictures in the magazines

It’s all smiles and lipstick, and beauty queens

That simple life makes her cry because

She remembers when hers was

And one more tear falls in the river

She watches it wash away

And one more prayer flies up to heaven

Just begging for a change

And one more song no one else is singing

She’s got to sing it anyway—alone

Another sun becomes a moon

She makes it through another day

She makes it through another day

For me I think the hardest part

Is just watching while she falls apart

I try but we both know it’s true

There ain’t a damn thing I can do

Every now and then I hear her laugh

It makes me think she might be coming back

Tell her we miss her

She’s gone, gone

She’s gone again

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Jordan Sparks- The Cure

This song just gave me a small boost, just reading the words it was appropiate and gave me the warm fussy feeling inside
Hush, little baby, don’t you cry
Yeah, I know she hurt you
But it ain’t the end of your life
‘Cause I’m right here waiting with open arms
I know you might feel shattered
But love should never bring you harm

So consider this a moment
That’s defining who you are
And I can fix what’s broken
And here’s how I’ll start

Just come with your heart and leave the rest to me
And I promise that we’ll be and I’ll be the cure
Show me where it hurts
And I know that I can be the medicine you need
Baby, I’ll be your cure, your cure, yeah, yeah, yeah

I can see she left you with your heart wide open
But I can be your shelter when the winds starts blowing
So don’t be afraid of what’s in front of you
‘Cause I know I’m strong enough to carry us through

So consider this a moment, that’s defining who you are
And I can fix what’s broken and here’s how I’ll start

Just come with your heart and leave the rest to me
And I promise that we’ll be and I’ll be the cure
Show me where it hurts
And I know that I can be the medicine you need
And I’ll be your cure, I’ll be the cure
And I’ll be your cure, I’ll be the cure

I’ll be your healer in my shining armor
Just let me protect you, that’s what I’m here for
My love is a healer if you let me near you
Reach out and touch me, just let me restore

Just come with your heart and leave the rest to me
And I promise that we’ll be and I’ll be the cure
Show me where it hurts
And I know that I could be the medicine you need
And I’ll be your cure

Just come with your heart and leave the rest to me
And I promise that we’ll be and I’ll be your cure
Show me where it hurts
And I know that I can be the medicine you need
Baby, I’ll be your cure, I’ll be the cure

I’ll be your cure, yeah, yeah, I’ll be the cure
My love is strong enough, I’ll be the cure
Whenever you call, yeah, I’ll be the cure
I am the cure

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Sometimes in our lives

There are times in our lives that we wish our best friends were our brothers and sisters and some of our families were just are our casual friends. You know why.

There are times in our lives that we wish that we can go back to the past and could relive our lives better than we did knowing the mistakes we did and the opportunities we missed. Would that be neat and great!

There are times in our lives our faith in God is greater during our times of trials and frustrations yet sometimes it is also during these challenging times that our faith in God is about to fade. Tell me about it.

There are times in our lives that our hope turns to despair. The higher your hope is…the greater is the frustration. There are times that you don’t want to hope no more knowing you will just end in despair. Keep hoping that you don’t depair.

There are times in our lives we question what goes on with our lives. Things are meant to be and like they say…things happen for a reason. That reason remains to puzzle you till you find out later why. Then you’ll say…now I know why! I wish I knew before why?

There are times in our lives we wonder why people are luckier than others. Why you suffer more than others? Why people are better than others and why others are worst than you? Why do you have to work harder to better yourself? Never ending-why‘s! Why not?

There are times in our lives we just want to ponder, think and count our blessings or sometimes our misfortunes. Times in our lives we see the inequity in life, the challenges ahead of us and what we have to accomplish to make us better and happy in this life – so others may envy us. What a cycle?

Sometimes, in our lives…we wish we were dead…but we will never know the reason why things happen to us. So, stay alive and you will find out why! Will it be worth it? Sometimes in our lives…we got to try!

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Remember

Remember me when I am gone away,

Gone far away into the silent land;

When you can no more hold me by the hand,

Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more day by day

You tell me of our future that you plann’d:

Only remember me; you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while

And afterward…

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