Fighting for Breath

I Have Brittle Asthma. Everyday can be a battle to breath and survive. This is a space to share, rant and come to terms with my everyday challenges and thoughts.


Well Im back from my holiday. We went to Kent.

The apartment we stayed in was nice and had loads of posh furniture it was designed more like a proper flat than a holiday rent. I did have to share a bedroom with my sister though!

Sunday- We drove into Broadstairs and onto Margate. It rained so we didn’t stay long before we called into a shopping center. It had a Hobbycraft so spent a fair bit there! In the evening we went out for dinner

Monday- Dad went fishing during the day so us 3 girls went to the White Cliffs. We decided to walk along the cliff face. I ended up walking a total of 4 miles (a new record for me in recent years) to a lighthouse where we stopped and had tea and cake and a rest. It did take me about 30 mins longer than what they said and I required allot of salbutamol but I did it and so proud of myself for completing it. Was up hill and everything. Rest of the day was spent recovering.

Tuesday- We went across to France, so was up early for a 7am ferry. Jenna wasnt as bad as she normally is on ferry’s we went on a smaller company so wasn’t as busy so was more relaxing. First we looked around Dunkirt before heading to Belgium for some linch before going back to Dunkirk for shopping. Usually shopping creates some argument but we were all patient with each other and so no argument. I did feel like Dad spent far too much money on himself.

Wednesday- I was quite tired, so went went to Dover we were planning to go on a Boat trip but they werent running so just spent the afternoon chilling and doing a puzzle

Thursday- Went to Port Lymph Wildlife park, had some walking. But felt that I couldnt see some of the animals as much as  I wanted

Friday- it was raining again so just went on drive around, went on the Boat.

We did run out of things to do by the end of the week so we don’t want to go to Kent for a while yet!

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Job Offer

I while ago I went to a job interview. I put on the form I wanted part time on the childrens ward only. I got offered a interview. The interview turned out of be a number of group tasks such as sort out a number of jobs into who’s responsible for them and then proritise the list of patients for washes.

Anyway I got offered a job, not on the childrens ward as apparently havent got any part time ward jobs. They offered me Ortho Outpatients. I declined. These are my reasons, outpatients nursing is different less patient focused more a admin assistant really, its 9-5 and that will add time onto my commute as getting in and out of Bath at these times are so bust will take me 180 mins a day! and its a job I dont really want, and I would loose allot of my benefits for and be allot less better off, i want to work but Im waiting for the right job!

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Things that make me Smile & Things I Love

I used the idea off a fellow blogger!

  • Clean Sheets
  • Walking Through a field of Buttercups
  • Sitting on the Beach
  • Singing Along to the Music in the Car (ie Car Parties)
  • Bubble Baths
  • wearing new PJ’s or Pants
  • Finding a place you love
  • Going somewhere new
  • When someone Compliments me
  • Cuddles with the Hamster Boys
  • Cooking a new recipe that I like
  • Smelling the sea air
  • Feeling the sea between my toes
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Food Frauds that can Wreck your Diet

Caesar salad – Just a small bowl can serve up 300-400 calories and 30 grams of fat, thanks to loads of dressing. Food fix: Leave out the croutons; limit dressing to one tablespoon; and enjoy two tablespoons of tangy Parmesan cheese.

Fresh smoothies- That ‘healthy’ berry blend at a smoothie bar or café is likely to have a whopping 80 grams of sugar, 350 calories, no protein and often no fresh fruit. Vitamin-poor fruit “concentrates” are commonly used instead of more expensive fresh fruit. And sorbet, ice cream and sweeteners can make these no better than a milkshake. Food fix: Get the ‘small’ cup. Ask for fresh fruit, low-fat yoghurt, milk or protein powder to blend in good nutrition.

Energy bars- Many of these are simply enhanced sweets with more calories (up to 500) and a higher price tag. Their compact size also leaves many people unsatisfied. “Three bites and it’s gone”, says Bonci, who advises hungry athletes and dancers. Food fix: Choose bars that have 200 calories or less, at least five grams of fibre and some protein, which helps provide energy when the sugar rush fades.

Enhanced water- Vitamins are commonly added to bottled water and advertised on the front label. Some brands also add sugar, taking water from zero calories to as much as 125. Food fix: Keeping tap water in the fridge may make it more appealing to the family. As an alternative, try adding a low calorie squash or cordial to add flavour without calories.

Breakfast muffins- Muffins masquerade as a healthy choice for breakfast. Although they may beat doughnuts, they’re still mainly sugary little cakes of refined flour. One shop bought muffin can hit 500 calories with 11 teaspoons of sugar.Food fix: Choose muffins no larger than 6cm (2½ inches) in diameter, or look for low calorie muffins. Smaller portions limit calories and some brands are a surprisingly good source of whole grains and fibre.

Coleslaw- Cabbage can be great for weight loss, but coleslaw can be a diet disaster. A restaurant 130g serving can have 260 calories and 21 grams of fat – a third of most people’s daily limit – thanks to copious mayonnaise.Food fix: Some places offer a healthier coleslaw, so ask for nutrition information. At home, try low-fat mayonnaise or mix with fat free yoghurt.

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Setting Goals

I find setting goals really helps me feel like I have achieved something so last few days I have adding things to the bucket list, some stupid little things and some that will take abit more work. I have also changing my focus away from my asthma and looking at the whole me so cutting down my meds and going to go out and enjoy my life and not let asthma control me. I need to think of new routines and weight loss ways to try and kick start myself again.

My aim is to go until the end of August before my next asthma hospital admission thats about 8 weeks

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Out of Hours

Usually I don’t bother with out of hours GP service but last night I did. In the past they have always phoned an ambulance for me. Last night I couldn’t stop coughing I was running a temperature that paracetamol wasn’t really helping, was all over aching and feeling a little bit puffed. So first I looked at what appointments my GP had and well I could see the triage nurse but find them next to useless for me so I rand out of hours, first I was triaged as ring an ambulance probably as I said my nebs weren’t helping and I was short of breath I refused after some arguing they said would get someone to ring me back. and Hour of waiting later and a nurse rang me and went through the standard questions even before I said what was going wrong she heard my drug history she had decided it was worth me going to the clinic. So another 20 minutes later they phoned back with an appointment luckily it wasn’t that long away so off I went. It was nice going out in the cool of the night but as soon as I got inside the hospital I was dripping in sweat again. She took my obs and listened to my chest and I guessed write I had an infection and since I seem to go from knowing I have infection to in crisis so quickly thought better have some antibiotics into me and ones that I know work. So Im on co-amoxiclav and cipro for a week and 3 days of 40mg of prednislone. Just not what I need before a holiday.

After a night sleep and a large quantity of ice pops I feel better.

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Weight Watchers- Week 32

After a few days on massive dose of steriods (seems like allot), being in hospital when food is the biggest part of the day and a complete lack of exercise I was expecting a big gain this week so was pleased with only 1lb put on. Next week Im going away Im expecting another gain but since I am stopping one of my meds I wont want the fatty foods and chips and will make me feel ill. I am going to try filling and healthy rather than counting.

I have also cancelled my membership for abit to try and recapture my drive and motivation after a few weeks away

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Well I have been on metforming 3 weeks now and apart from lowering my blood glucose levels (I run high due to steroids) it hasn’t helped me loose weight, it hasn’t helped the cravings and left feeling more confused than anything. I went to see another GP at the surgery and though I have the signs of PCOS she doubts I have it now. She did go on about how not having a period isn’t as bad as they thought they did. If in the future I want to have children and finding if difficult then will look more closely. She was going on about how some people genes mean they don’t loose weight very easy, she then said my antidepressant wont be helping. The only thing she could add was the diet pill Xenical which unless I eat fat wont help but comes with a support programme which is the best thing. I now going to decide if its worth coming off mirtazpine as finding the hypnothearpy helping

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Put on Hold

Well the steroid reduction lasted all of a week before I stopped, I was feeling rubbish getting that general blurgh feeling I used to get before I went into hospital. I had muscle aches and a temperature and just generally puffed. I ended up being admitted all in a hurry of drugs as apparently I was ill (personally I think was the Dr just being over cautious) I spent the first night on BIPAP and another night on HDU. By the Sunday I was feeling better and managed to convince them to stop my IV aminophylline so I could go home on Monday.

I was seen by one of the new consultants and he had been briefed about me which annoyed me a bit but seemed to accept when I said I have difficult asthma without throwing anything back at me. He said that it was likely that I have developed adrenal insufficiency meaning I need to stay on some form of steroids for life but need to discuss it with my team at Southampton on how to get off pred. I have an appointment in 2 weeks so will discuss it further.

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Weight Watchers- Week 31

Its a small loss but still its coming off. Lost 0.5lbs. Which I think was down to using more of my weeklies so going to aim to use about 15 a week

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