Fighting for Breath

I Have Brittle Asthma. Everyday can be a battle to breath and survive. This is a space to share, rant and come to terms with my everyday challenges and thoughts.

Weight Watchers- Week 23

After a horrible week of hospital food and eating breakfast No suprise I put on 2lbs. I think now I am just making excuses why Im not loosing weight at at the moments its hormonal. I think I am cheating now, I need to stop snacking and follow the plan! I do really well until the evening when I do the whole one wont hurt, I need something to stop me reaching for my comfort blanket of food. Its the snacks that is letting me down, the meals I eat are fine!

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Its the Small Things in Life

I mentioned last time I was getting new inhalers and I finally managed to get them from the pharmacy and its the small things that make my Day. I finally have a pink inhaler!

My other inhaler genuair is really new and so was harder to source but its really weird and different to other inhalers, I took one puff and left a horrible taste in my mouth!

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A Week of Appointments

Back to a normal post, moaning.

This week has been a week of appointment and my body wont know whats hit it!

Southampton- Im starting not to get so worried about going hear. I think as I know there isnt much more they can do since they refuse to try miracle treatments. So I have started to think as long as they take note and try making small changes there might be some difference. I have gone 7 weeks without an admission this is good going for me , but I am slightly worried its not a new trend but more of a good period. But anyway before this I was started on alvesco. This is a fine particle so gets easily to the small airways. this is the point where most of airway is constricted anyway on this we decided to change my symbicot to fostair a combination of becotide and the LABA in symbicort. I also noted that i get most infections in the amoxicillin rotation so we changed that to trimethoprim ( I haven’t had this much). I had a CT recently and the results are ok, shows wall thickening which get in severe asthmatics but no bronchitis  We also touched on the immunology bloods and my IGG are fine but said about my T cells and said that the cough clinic would discuss that. I hate when they start to tell you something wrong but not what that means. It does mean have to wait until May. Anyway small changes and wasnt that bad of an appointment.

Bath- I saw my respiratory nurse for my review and well we generally make sure things are being done and to make sure I get the best care possible. Anyway he broke the trend he never says we need to change your medication until this appointment basically on of my drugs, spirivia resmiat can increase the change of cardiac arrest and its a significant risk so wants me to change to an alternative. Genuair its called and its a weird inhaler.

GP- Im off to my doctors tommorow, it was meant to be a review on my mirtazpine which has stopped working, so I want it increased but also got to ask for all these drug changes and I want to talk about weight loss as only lost 1lb since Christmas.

Im felling rubbish so a DVD in bed and hopefully drift off. Its Cinderella tonight!

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I haven’t got time to be Sick….

Its 7 weeks since my last attack.  Though there has been times I have been close to an giving in and going in, Ive managed it but not sure if i like this change. yes I like going this long but I dont like how its been a break in the routine its almost like I dont want to do anything just in case, like life is on hold until I get the hospital over and done with! I managed through a cold, through the cold weather and being knackered.

I have been more active these last few weeks monday morning being spent at college which means no weekend admissions as would miss the class, I have been going mostly twice a week (missed a few through not feeling right) and been busy with essay I don’t want to ruin my no extension needed record.

IS almost like my lungs know I have to much good things to get sick at the moment and hold off. I’m hoping to hold off until this time next week then I would have done all I have to but I know in the past when gone that bit longer and made myself hold out that I splat big style.

I much prefer admissions in the weekends I dont have to put up with consultants, or even weekend ward rounds so I know more whats going on. I can usually get away with staying on amino for longer. The ward is generally quiter during the day as the OT’s and physio’s arent bugging patients.

Im off to see Starlight Express on Wednesday, with my mum so lets hope I dont miss it or worse getting ill there. I have access seats so on the end of a row and half the price!

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Weight Watchers- Week 22

Im frustrated. Leader is frustrated. I don’t think its me anymore. I cant take much more of this or I will give up! Yes the 0.5lbs I lost last week has gone back on. I am loosing my focus and cutting corners and just cant be bothered. Whatever I do I don’t get the results on the scales. On a more positive note I measured myself lost a total of 5cm around my waist, 2.5 on my hips, 1cm around arms and 1cm around my bust. I also npticed my size 18 jeans fit (if anything a little baggy around belly!)

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My Guide of Eating whilst Trying to Loose Weight

I love going out to eat, its what I do to socialize. I love sitting in a restuarant and looking at others people’s food, reading the menu and deciding what to have plus trying something new. However it can be easy to let loose and eat until full. When on a diet though its important to change you mindset in order to be able to sensibly eating out without having to pile on the pounds. So here my tips

  • Plan- Plan were you are going and what your going to eat and drink. Then can find out the nutritional information beforehand and don’t have to read the menu and get tempted by something else, that could sound like the healthy option but has hidden calories.
  • Choose a mixed side salad or portion of vegetables to go with your main meal, instead of something like chips. Don’t be afraid to ask for changes. I always get dressing on the side so I can control how much I want
  • Look out for the under so many calories items on the menu that many resurants are doing now. This can save so many points that might have enough left over for a dessert or a starter.
  • Avoid the extras for example, bacon in a burger, Parmesan on pasta
  • Find out how the food it cooked, grilled is better than fried
  • Avoid creamy sauces, a tomato base is lower points/calories
  • Avoid having wine with or meal if you have to ask for a glass of water as well.
  • Schedule some activity on or near days you plan to eat out
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Do you have a problem with food?

When I was watching Miranda I investigated whether they is such as thing as overeaters Anonymous. There is.

This series of questions may help you determine if you are a compulsive overeater.

1. Do I eat when I’m not hungry, or not eat when my body needs nourishment? When Not Hungry

2. Do I go on eating binges for no apparent reason, sometimes eating until I’m stuffed or even feel sick? Yes

3. Do I have feelings of guilt, shame or embarrassment about my weight or the way I eat? Yes

4. Do I eat sensibly in front of others and then make up for it when I am alone? Not Always

5. Is my eating affecting my health or the way I live my life? Yes

6. When my emotions are intense—whether positive or negative—do I find myself reaching for food? Yes

7. Do my eating behaviors make me or others unhappy? Yes

8. Have I ever used laxatives, vomiting, diuretics, excessive exercise, diet pills, shots or other medical interventions (including surgery) to try to control my weight? No

9. Do I fast or severely restrict my food intake to control my weight? No

10. Do I fantasize about how much better life would be if I were a different size or weight? Yes

11. Do I need to chew or have something in my mouth all the time: food, gum, mints, candies or beverages? Sometimes

12. Have I ever eaten food that is burned, frozen or spoiled; from containers in the grocery store; or out of the garbage? Burn’t and still frozen Yes

13. Are there certain foods I can’t stop eating after having the first bite? Yes

14. Have I lost weight with a diet or “period of control” only to be followed by bouts of uncontrolled eating and/or weight gain? Yes

15. Do I spend too much time thinking about food, arguing with myself about whether or what to eat, planning the next diet or exercise cure, or counting calories? Yes

Have you answered yes to three or more of these questions?
If so, it is probable that you have or are well on your way to
having a compulsive overeating problem.



I have found when I’m coming a proper meal I’m grazing picking when I go into the fridge eating that little bit of food that’s fallen off the crumbs. So my new thing make the veg or salad before and put it on the plate and hopefully I graze of that. Another idea I am adopting is brushing my teeth, this make you feel less hungry and if i did eat then it would taste horrible. Im hoping that this week I can start making progress on the diet.

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Weight Watchers- Week 21

This is getting more and more confusing, I’ve used all my weeklies and all my exercise points I gained, eating rubbish (like a 5 pack of cookies). I have been more active this week through not having a car so walking more and been swimming twice this week. But I lost 0.5lbs. Leader things that the weight difference is a bit slower to show, so my bad eating this week will show next week.


A Diet Free Week (of Sorts)

After last week’s weight gain of  I got so disheartened, I didn’t see the point in eating . It seems like whatever I do I cant seem to start loosing again. So I started comfort eating, evening after evening would dive into packs of crisps, would eat whatever I wanted so Monday morning on the way to college I decided i would continue to track but not stick to daily allowance. I haven’t gone off as badly as I thought most of the week until today when I ate a whole bag of white chocolate cookies. One good thing I have managed to do some form of exercise everyday.

I plan to go back to basics again tommorow with following the diet, and going to see the doctor as thinking the cysts on my ovaries I had a few years ago (they burst before a diagnosis could be confirmed) might be back which makes loosing weight more difficult.

Tommorow I get weighed in so will see what the damage is!

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