Fighting for Breath

I Have Brittle Asthma. Everyday can be a battle to breath and survive. This is a space to share, rant and come to terms with my everyday challenges and thoughts.

Weight Watcher- Week 7

After putting on weight last weigh in I stuck to just my daily allowance this has been easy as I have had a cold/virus thing and this week lost a massive 4.5lbs bringing my weight to 17st 5.5lbs (113kg). Now I’m so close to 5% weight loss and a stone lost (10.5 total so far)

I do think with hte change of leader she changed where she weighed you last week to this week that the scales were a bit off and now back to where they normally are. Hopefully can get to the magic 5% next week!

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Q&A: The unappreciated benefits of dyslexia

Normally dyslexia is considered a handicap: a mental deficiency that makes reading, long-division and remembering whether letters and numbers face left or right difficult.
While dyslexic children may struggle in the early grades, they often grow into gifted story tellers, inventors and entrepreneurs. 
What is your working definition of dyslexia?
The generally accepted definition focuses on the difficulties with reading and spelling that are unexpected, given a child’s individual level of intelligence and their educational exposure. We think that definition is inadequate for practical use, because the actual symptoms vary a lot.
We’ll see dyslexic kids with a verbal IQ of 140 or 145 who will read with good comprehension, and as a consequence won’t be recognized as dyslexic. But they still read at fairly slow pace relative to other students in the gifted programs, and their performance will suffer from their slow reading speed. And for some dyslexic students, their problems with reading may be less than in other areas, like writing and rote or procedural mathematics, but they arise from the same wiring differences that underlie dyslexic reading and spelling challenges, and traditional definitions of dyslexia that focus entirely on word sound or language processing really don’t capture the breadth of these differences.
What are the major misconceptions surrounding the condition?
One of the biggest misconceptions is that dyslexic brains differ only in the ways they process printed symbols, when in reality they show an alternative pattern of processing that affects the way they process information across the board. Dyslexic brains are organized in a way that maximizes strength in making big picture connections at the expense of weaknesses in processing fine details.
It’s a huge mistake to regard a dyslexic child as if his or her brain is trying to follow the same pathway of development as all the other kids but is simply doing a bad job of it. In reality, the brains of kids with dyslexic processing styles are actually developing in a very different way. They establish a different pattern of connections and circuitry, creating a different kind of problem-solving apparatus. The difference is global, not just in certain areas of the brain.
So for many dyslexic students, normal development really consists of having a brain that’s wired so that reading is naturally more difficult to learn when they’re 7 or 8 years old than it is for other students. And this difference in development creates a real mismatch between what they need to learn and the way that traditional education is doled out in the early grades. There’s a real clash between what they can really do well at particular ages and what they’re being asked to do in the classroom, and this makes it very hard for them to thrive in the traditional classroom setting.
The other big misconception is that dyslexia is fundamentally a learning disorder which is accompanied only by problems, rather than a different pattern of processing that can bring tremendous strengths in addition to the well-known challenges.
What are the major strengths of having a dyslexic brain?                                                                           Some dyslexic individuals are especially good at spatial reasoning. Putting together three-dimensional spatial perspectives is easy for them. They may work in design, 3-D art, architecture, be engineers, builders, inventors, organic chemists or be exceptionally good at bagging your groceries.
Interconnected reasoning is another kind of strength. These connections can be relationships of likeness – analogies for example – or causal relationships, or the ability to shift perspective and view an object or event from multiple perspectives, or the ability to see the “gist” or big-picture context surrounding an event or idea. Many dyslexics work in highly interdisciplinary fields or fields that require combining perspectives and techniques gained from different disciplines or backgrounds. Or they’re multiple specialists, or their work history is unusually varied. Often these individuals draw the comment that they can see connections that other people haven’t seen before.
Most dyslexics tend to remember facts as experiences, examples or stories, rather than abstractions. We call this pattern narrative reasoning, which we consider the third strength. These kids have a very strong ability to learn from experience. It’s very common for their families to describe these kids as the family elephant. They’ll be the go-to person when someone wants to remember who gave what to sister for her birthday two years ago. They might be the family historian, but they can’t remember the times tables or which direction the three goes.
These individuals excel in fields where telling and understanding stories are important, like sales, counseling, trial law or even teaching. In addition, a large number of professional writers are dyslexic. 
The fourth ability outlined is the ability to reason well in dynamic settings when the facts are incomplete or changing. People strong in this area often work in the business field, in financial markets or in scientific fields that reconstruct past events, like geologists or paleontologists. These people are comfortable working with processes that are constantly changing, and in making predictions.
Do most dyslexic individuals demonstrate a particular strength, or do they show combinations?
Most dyslexics show combinations of these strengths. Probably 80 to 90 percent of the dyslexic individuals we’ve worked with show a narrative-type brain, and many of these individuals show strengths in dynamic reasoning. Interconnected reasoning is similarly common. Surprisingly, spatial reasoning, which is often viewed as the quintessential dyslexic skill, is a bit more hit or miss. In the book there is a great interview with Douglas Merrill, who was the Chief Information Officer at Google for several years and a tremendously impressive person. He said, “If I close my eyes right now I couldn’t tell you which direction my door is.” But he was very strong in all of the other mind strengths we describe.
What is an example of a perceived mental weakness that hides a mental strength?
Most of what is done in the classroom in the early grades focuses on acquiring the kind of rote skills that are dependent on perceiving visual or auditory things very clearly, and learning skills automatically to the point where you don’t have to think about them. These are just the kinds of rote and fine detail skills that dyslexic kids tend to have difficulty learning. But because that’s where the focus is in the early grades, their strengths in big-picture processing or remembering personal experiences tend to get overlooked.
But over time, what we see is that this same lack of ability to over-learn things so well that they no longer need to be thought of keeps dyslexic individuals more in touch with or mindful of the tasks they’re engaged in, and as a result makes them more likely to innovate and tweak and modify.
If I was the parent of a dyslexic child, what advice would you give to me?                                                      One of the most important things is to remember to focus on identifying and building strengths. Too often all the focus is on “fixing what’s wrong” rather than celebrating and nurturing what’s right, and that’s a big mistake. But when it does come to improving performance in areas of struggle, help should be tailored to the specific child.
Some children are not too bothered by the fact that they’re struggling more than their equally intelligent peers; they just love to be in school with their friends. Those kids will often be fine in a normal classroom, with additional outside help in the areas where they are struggling. But there are a lot of kids who are devastated by the experience of seeing other kids master things easily, being called out, laughed at or pressured by the teacher.
For those kids, when you see their self-image, their ability to sleep, their ability to function really deteriorating, that is a real tragedy. They need to be moved into a place where the education fits their developmental profile better. We mention various alternatives in the book. But it’s important to recognize that these kids can be destroyed by being kept in a difficult place for too long, without understanding why it is they are struggling.
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Love, Is it a Drug?

I was watching Love and other drugs and got my thinking is love  drug, if so what sort.

It could be like certain painkillers where its adicitive, once you start you cant stop but that don’t explain why I dont crave it much now or go round sleeping around.

Or could it be like a antidepressant  takes a while to feel a difference bu have to reduce slowely. Some antidepressant people seems to feel cant cope without them and i suppose its like love.

Or could it be a antibiotic type thing where you have to complete the course for example you have to go to the end of the relationship road ie the breakup and takes a while for it to make you feel better but once its starts things get better and better.

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Sleep…or lack of

Well ever since my last hospital admission 4 weeks ago now I cant seem to be able to sleep, I’m exhausted but whatever I do I seem to fail to be able to fall asleep until around 6am. The only good thing about that time of the day its when I seem to get the most sleep without waking up. But I’m still waking up tired. I’ve tried not watching tv in my room, tried going to bed early, I’ve even been setting my alarm and having wake up calls. I still cant get into a routine. It seems when I switch the lights of I cant seem to settle, I don’t think I’m overly thinking (though I know a few nights I was). All during the day I want to just be in bed and slowly its getting worse.

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Weight Watchers- Week 6


This week I put on 2lbs….

I think this is because though I’ve been using my weeklies for daily eating more than in past weeks.  Heres my points (daily 40)

Thursday- 40
Friday- 38
Saturday- 39
Sunday- 45
Monday- 41
Tuesday- 44
Wednesday- 30

Though looking at it is dosn’t seem as bad as I expected looking back at the week. Going back to measuring and choosing snacks carefully.

It could also be delayed steroid weight.

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My health problems started with idiopathic anaphylaxis before I got bored with that and asthma developed thought to be due to a over reactive immune system anyway after months of trying different antihistamies opn the max dose I found at the time a new antihistame and since then I have continue to take levocertizine without fail. Moving on I am taking control of my own meds taking what I want when I want and I thought I would try stopping levo as its one less tablet. I managed 3 days before my skin was red raw, itchy and felt like it was on fire, my eyes were swollen and bloodshot. I gave in a took my emergency antihistames, had a neb just in case, used allergy nasal sprays and eye drops and had a long bath of emollient and some e45 after.

2 days later back taking my antihistamins and my skin isn’t itchy but have a few open sores from where i itched too much.

Now I know in my mind I still need to take them and I’m on the lowest amount of medication I can be. Even though I suffered badly I’m glad I tried to go without there is no point in taking medication if it isn’t doing anything. The amont of pills and potions you take isn’t a compition and dosnt effect the way your treated or preceieved seviety

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Weight Watchers- Week 5

Today I weighed 17st 8lbs (113kg) so I’ve lost a total of 8lbs so I got my first super 7 award!

I noticed today the changes in which belt loop I use and my general fitness. I was able to swim an extra 100m this weekend.

I’ve started to track the measurments

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A Weeks Shop

A really random post but thought would share what food I brought in one week!
Allot of the meat and meals will go in the freezer would when less able to cook

  • 4 Smokey BBQ marinated Pork Lion
  • 2 Pork Shoulder Steaks
  • Chicken in Peppercorn Sauce Ready Meal
  • Sausage Pasta ready meal
  • Spinach And Ricotta Tortelloni
  • Another Tortelloni but can’t remember the flavor
  • Courgettes
  • Baby Sweetcorn
  • Onions
  • Tomato’s
  • Leeks
  • Milk
  • Squash
  • Ham
  • Chorizo
  • Skips
  • Peppers
  • Eggs
  • Apple Juice
  • Tin chopped tomato’s

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Weight Watchers- Week 4

After missing last week due to being ill tonight was a big weigh in as had the hospital diet where eating breaks up the day to the not eating for days on end as I was sleeping and just with no apatite to the steroid hunger of the end of the week.

I lost 3.5lbs (2kg)

Current weight- 17s 10.5lbs

Just 1.5lbs until reach first milestone half a stone which I hope will be next week and maybe be a stone lighter by Christmas

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Friends that Care

I have a friends that work in the health system met before I was ill. few nurses and a few people that work in the ambulance service, I’ve been coming across them more and more these days.

A old family friend of mine, Sam, works for the ambulance service now, not in my local station but I have had him come to me twice now. It does make things more uncomfortable. this time he was very quite almost like he didn’t know what to say to me and I felt uneasy.

Another main person I am coming across is Mike, yes the ex, hes a nurse in ED now. I hate having him even in the department with me as I feel hes looking down on me. I hate it. Also feel he’s looking at my and what I’ve become with disgust.

With anyone I know I do worry about what they say to other people that were in the same friendship circle with us.

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