Fighting for Breath

I Have Brittle Asthma. Everyday can be a battle to breath and survive. This is a space to share, rant and come to terms with my everyday challenges and thoughts.


I spend allot of time people watching and living where I do seems like more and more people are chav’s and there parenting style is different to what I was brought up. I consently here parents swearing at there children and young children swearing. When I was younger swearing was a no-no our parents didn’t swear at us and if we swore we were told our mouths would be washed out with soap. I remember when I was first at university we were told everyone would swear if hit our toes I was the only one that said I didn’t. It wasn’t the done thing at school coming from a catholic school and still isn’t now. I still dont swaer infrount of my parents and only seem to of infiltrated normal converstation with one or 2 words.

If I was a parent I wouldn’t swear at my children and I wouldn’t accept them to swear at me or other adults.

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Things to Love About ADD

I have worked with people with ADD or ADHD and asutism etc so I know  there are things that make them special and unique! here is a list I found to help you understand!
Wear your ADD/ADHD badge with pride because here are 50 (or so) great things about having ADD you can boast about! Excerpts from the poster written by Bob Seay.

1. Entertain your friends with witty one-liners and sharp come backs.

2. Insomnia makes for more time to stay up and surf the net!

3. The drive of Hyper-focus

4. Sparkling personality

5. Drop names like Edison, Einstein, Walt Disney and Beethoven in conversations

6. Can see all of your wordly possessions at one time.. because they are all over the floor


8. Innovative

9. A strong sense of what is FAIR

10. Willing to take a Risk

11. Alert

12. Eager

13. Creative

14. Provides original ideas, or isn’t afraid to steal them.

15. Make far reaching analogies that no one else understands, write them off as “Deep Thoughts”

16. Theoretical

17. Abstract Thinkers

18. Spontaneous

19. Always Hopeful

20. Keeps meetings lively

21. The Mind of a Pentium – with only 2Mgs of RAM

22. Aesthetically oriented, pleasantly and constantly surprised by finding clothing you had forgotten about.

23. Able to tie seemingly unrelated ideas together

24. Funny

25. Able to see The Big Picture while others stumble around in the dark

26. Independent

27. Demands to know WHY?

28. Last of the ROMANTICS

29. Has a wide variety of interests

30. Good conversationalist

31. Qualify for bulk rate mail on tax returns because you have at least 24 W-2′s attached

32. At IQs of 160 and above, virtually all people have ADD symptoms

33. An innately better understanding of intuitive technologies such as computers

34. In class popularity contests, always voted “Most Entertaining” or “Most Energetic”

35. Great improvisers

36. Honestly believes that anything is possible

37. Great at extemporaneous speaking

38. Quickly assimilates new information

39. Usually a little smarter than the average bear

40. Willing to “step out in faith”

41. Rarely satisfied with the status quo

42. Empathetic

43. Can easily replace missing childhood photos with panels from “Calvin & Hobbes”

44. Pleasantly and constantly surprised by finding money you had forgotten about

45. Blows up, but then usually recovers quickly

46. An unstoppable dynamo of human energy

47. Doesn’t know when to quit

48. Intuitive

49. Compassionate

50. Persistent

51. Spunky

52. Hidden TALENT

53. Closely attuned to the moods of those around them

54. Can always be depended upon to provide a different perspective

55. Visionary

56. Many successful entrepreneurs exhibit ADD behaviors

57. Provides job security for writers of Spell Check programs

58. Will fight for what they believe in

59. Excellent motivators of others

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Blogger Challenge

I just found a 30 day blog challenge online and thought, why not do it in one big go!

Day 1 – Your Favourite Song
It really depends on my mood, the most played songs on my ipod is a tie between Hanna Montana, Butterfly fly away, this is from the movie and When I grow up from the Musical Matilda. The song I like the most at the moment is Garry Barlows new song for the Queen’s jubilee ‘Sing’
Day 2 – Your Favourite Movie

I have over 300 DVD’s of various genre. Each has its own use for the mood. My current favourites are The Inbetweeners Movie, Charlie St Cloud and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

Day 3- Your Idea of a Perfect DateObviously depends on the company but I would like to go for a nice relaxed meal or a coffee. but also think the longer you date someone the less importantt it is to go on dates just to spend time with

Day 4- Your Best Friend
My best friend is my sister, we do allot together and can talk to her about anything

Day 5- Your Pets
I’ve had fish since I was 7, and when I was 11 I got a hamster called Lucy and now I have 2 hamsters called Lil Meat and Stitch they a dwarf ones so small and sweet!
Day 7- Your Dream Wedding
In a big country house like Longleat House, traditional but with a live band at the reception!
Day 8- A Song to Match Your Mood
I’m quite tired so something calming like Wherever You Are by Military Wives Choir
Day 9- Item last Purchased
Food- Milk, juice and some veggie sausages
Bored now!

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A few weeks ago the Olympic Torch came past the end of the road. I was away at the time so my mum took the picture. I am not going to any events as i thing the tickets for the the events are far too expensive, even for the most basic seats. The hype over the Olympics is starting to get on my nerves. I am dreading when they start though I don’t mind watching them
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I thought I would share some photos of the concerts I’ve been to
Imelda May- Colston Hall 2011

Steps- LG 2012

Westlife- Cardiff 2012

Snow Patrol- LG 2009

Eton Road (X-factor)- 2007 Party in the Park

Ben Mills (x-factor)- 2007 Party in the Park
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Cardiac Asthma

I have noticed before an attack my legs swell, I am more tired despite normal sleep and i lose some of my appetite. I also have high blood pressure and a fast pulse signs of cardiac asthma.

No-one has really investigated this on me or down the required tests so going to mention it next time I go to see the Asthma specilist

I’ve now taken extra steriods to see if it helps

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Dyslexia Tution

I have been getting a tutor for a few weeks and I dont think I have learnt anything. This week she taught me how to use mind mapping software, which I learnt to use anyway. We looked through the guide to submitting a EMA with common sense stuff and made me highlight key words in the question.

Last week she went through how to take notes which was 2 hours on read through it more than once basically highlighting key words.

Also covered has been hpw to plan my time all a waste of time!

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Post Westlife

Well I’m back from my little adventure to see Westlife and I really enjoyed it.

M text me on the Sunday morning saying Dr thought she had a ruptured bowel (near impossible for normal people) and therefore she couldn’t come and could I give her some money for the ticket. I sold it to my mum but M was more concerned with getting the money fast. Anyway when I was in Cardiff the next day she kept texting asking have I paid it in yet demanding I find the back straight away. Anyway now I don’t have to talk to her again! Funny enough the next day I see was shopping spending a small fortune on food.

The concert itself was good, Westlife had good interaction with the audience and sang all their hits, one small problem was the use of fire and smoke machines. This made my lungs have a mini episode which I managed to deal with. However I was unable to return to the concert as the staff had blocked the entrance and wouldn’t let people back in until a suitable time which was by then the end of the show. I didn’t like the stewards there!

Whilst we were there went to the beach and generally explored and ate some nice food that we dont usually have due to a fussy eater at home!

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Westlife Fears

Monday I am seeing Westlife in concert with a fellow so-called asthmatic and I don’t know what it is but I am not looking forward to it. I really want to see the concert and I don’t think I will be the one that will be sick as I done my sick, its her.

Firstly she wanted me to stay with her I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that as over the months we have hardly talked and I have never met her other half. So I have booked a hotel and the train and my mum is coming with me. The reason my Mum is coming as over the last few months I really thought she would come up with a reason why she couldn’t come and then I would give the ticket to my mum which I would prefer.

The last few days the person I am going with has been texting me saying her lungs are bad and she keeps having splats. However the presence of her asthma seems to be questionable. In the back of my mind I wonder if its her saying she might not be well enough or prepare me for when she gets ill at the concert.

I have planned what to do if she gets ill, I refuse to go with her to hospital but will tell the on site medics everything including that she has a history of anxiety.

I am not going to let her or her lungs (or mine for that matter) ruin this concert

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I have been a resident in hospital B (aka local). The hot weather was upsetting my lungs on off for days and I had a Book-Keeping exam I needed to sit so was determined to see it through. Thursday night came and was feeling really bad coughing and spluttering but I went to college, used my inhaler lots in the exam and passed.

Came home and within a2 hours of being home I was struggling for breath and unable to talk more than yes or no. After the usual convincing myself I’m sick I wheezed to an ambulance. When they arrived it was a crew that had been to me a few times he took one look at me and told me off for leaving it so long and said this is a bad one. and he was right low sats and silent chest. He phoned control to get the helicopter out to me but they were grounded due to thunder.

When I got to the hospital they knew me and ITU were called straight away who got me on all the usual medication plus NIV and taken to HDU were I spent the remainder of the bank holiday slowly one by one the many IV drugs were taken down. I spent 6 days in this time not being IV free until the morning I left when I saw the one doctor i truly hate and he didn’t make me cry and didn’t try and sort me out in his way. for once he seemed pleased I am down on steroids and doing something with my life.

This means that I am due an admission over my summer holiday

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