Fighting for Breath

I Have Brittle Asthma. Everyday can be a battle to breath and survive. This is a space to share, rant and come to terms with my everyday challenges and thoughts.


My asthma didn’t really get under control and therefore spent most of the last 2 months in hospital. I currently can’t walk very far without getting sort of breath and I feel old and haggard due to lack of strength. Been on high dose steroids and look like I have been blown up. I have loads of stretch marks too which is the bit I hate!

After one too many hospital admissions my GP had enough of me and contacted my consultant and he arranged for me to come in for what seems they are planning ages to fully get a picture into my asthma and other problems one test at a time. The first thing they want to do is to try and make me ill to see if it’s my VCD or my asthma. My feelings on this are a bit mixed I am worried that I won’t get ill or I get ill it’s a VCD and then they say it’s in my head and down do anything!

Last night I didn’t sleep well I couldn’t turn off my thoughts. I felt sick so I think my rubbish nights have been due to my acid reflux as I am eating late at night going to bed on a full stomach this can irritate my throat and make me feel short of breath. So that one theory if I take better care of my acid refluxes maybe I will get better nights!

The second theory I came up with is that when I become unwell it starts off as an asthma attack as I can tell when it starts off as a VCD attack. However after I receive the drugs etc the asthma settles but I can’t tell because I still feel rubbish as my vocal cords still doing their thing. So in my head I sort of created a mix match plan of how to treat me if I am well treating both side and hopefully avoid the monster treatments!

I am waiting for funding for an infusion drug that would be continuous however they need the funding for the pump and where the NHS is concerned they are most likely to say no! So I have decided today to write to the PCT pleading my case and telling them my story to see if it has an effect as the other options I don’t want as at my age the side effects are horrible and at my age don’t want them!

Still off work I wonder if they don’t fully understand the chronic side of being asthmatic… but I can’t go back not at the moment they would be sending me home after 10 minutes!

At some point I am going to go through my asthma book and write all the foods that are bad for asthmatics and have a go at cutting them out to see if it helps!

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